


Pretty Much Exactly What It Looks Like

by apocryphile



Category: West Wing
Genre: Christmas, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-22
Updated: 2012-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-22 00:43:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/603931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apocryphile/pseuds/apocryphile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh and Donna get drunk at the Hawk and Dove after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretty Much Exactly What It Looks Like

Josh walked into the bullpen - or more accurately, swung into the bullpen, hanging by his hands from the doorframe - just as Donna's face crumpled. As he hurriedly reconfigured his limbs into a more professional arrangement, she silently hung up the phone and pressed her fingers to her lips.

"Are you OK?"

She took a breath before answering, making a visible effort not to cry.

"Jack said not to bother going up at all."

For a moment Josh was actually speechless with fury.

"That's..." He trailed off, not trusting himself not to curse.

She nodded glumly.

"I'm really sorry, Donna. You should call him back, fix it, go up there tonight. I can manage here."

Right in front of his eyes, she went from upset to resigned to angry to over it. He actually felt himself somehow falling for her just a little harder, which he hadn't thought was possible.

"It's not your fault, Josh. If he'd been called back here, I wouldn't have..."

She held her hands up in front of her.

"Never mind. You said we could get drunk later, right?"

He nodded hurriedly.

"Very drunk."

She grinned.

"I'm sure I'll tell you all about it then. I'll spare you the preview."

His whole face lit up. Drunk Donna was utterly disarming. Drunk Donna confiding in him would be... He thought he'd have to consult Toby for quite the right level of hyperbole to explain how the idea made him feel.

The thought of Toby made his throat feel tight, and his euphoria that Donna wasn't leaving him after all turned to relief that she'd be around in case his forcible mitzvah either went wrong or broke his heart - or both.

He extended a hand to her.

"We've got a few minutes before OMB gets back to me, and my Red Cross guy is out of range until he gets across the border. Let's go listen to the singing."

When she stood up he darted in to hug her and she held on tight. Into her neck, he mumbled another apology.

"I feel really bad about this. Are you sure you're OK?"

He felt her nodding by the friction of her hair.

"I never thought he of all people wouldn't understand about working here."

"A lot of folks who come to work here don't."

She chuckled and he pulled away, leading her towards the lobby.

"You're right about that."

"I'm right about everything."

She swatted at him and he nodded to himself. She was going to be fine.

When they slipped through the doors, one of the singers waved at her, and he had to resist the urge to growl and stake his claim with an arm around her waist. Reminding herself that she hadn't – as far as he knew - even actually broken up with Commander Wonderful, he contented himself with settling slightly behind her and rubbing her back in small circles as the music washed over them.

When the tune changed from a jaunty festive song to a haunting hymn, Donna glanced at him and found his hand, squeezing his fingers. As he squeezed back, the doors swung and Toby, looking slightly shell-shocked, led his father into the lobby.

Josh and Toby locked eyes across the room, and after a long moment, the communications director inclined his head slightly, which was already more thanks than Josh had ever expected. He held Donna's hand tighter as he watched the older Mr Ziegler look from his son to the singers and back again, tears running unchecked down his cheeks. Josh inhaled a long, ragged breath.

Donna dropped his hand and engulfed him in a hug. Before he hid his face in her hair he caught Toby's eye again.

This look meant something quite different. Toby nodded, a tiny smile softening his features.

The song ended.

When Josh looked up again, the Zieglers were gone.

\---

Leo called them off just before eleven. If he was surprised to see Donna there he didn't show it.

"It's a mild night over there. We'll get them some extra security, they'll say mass outside."

"We can still-"

"Josh."

Josh sighed.

"'kay."

"Now get the hell out of here. And do not under any circumstance come in tomorrow, do you hear me?"

"But-"

Leo ignored him.

"Donna, are you sticking around after all?"

"I'll make sure he doesn't come in."

"You're a good girl."

He surprised them both by kissing her on the cheek before he turned to go. Josh suspected he might have heard about her earlier disappointment from Margaret.

"Happy Christmas to the pair of you. I'll see you on Monday,” he called over his shoulder.

Monday was five days away. Josh nearly tripped over his feet jumping out of his chair to chase Leo down and protest, but Donna stopped him with a look. 

“They’ll call you if they need you, Josh, you know they will. In the meantime, what you need is a break.”

“What I need right now is a drink.”

“Lucky for you, that’s exactly what you’re getting.”

“That almost sounds like you might be buying.”

“It almost does, doesn’t it?”

“Almost.”

“Almost,” she agreed, laughing. 

As they passed through the bullpen she grabbed her travel bag. He took it from her without breaking stride, even as he questioned what on earth she was doing.

“We’re not spending all five days at the Hawk And Dove, you know.”

She rolled her eyes at him.

“I don’t want to have to come back and get it.”

Wishing that had occurred to him sooner as an excuse to come in tomorrow, Josh shouldered the duffel and steered her towards the Press Room.

“Josh, I’m pretty sure someone pointed out to them making snowmen on the press seats was actually a terrible idea.”

“That someone was you, Donna.”

“I’m just looking out for the cleaners!”

He smiled at her.

“I know. But you’ve gotta see what they did instead.”

He led her past the podium and the rows of empty seats in the dark, and through the door onto the lawn.

On the patch immediately outside, the Press Office staff had painstakingly constructed an elaborate snow tableau. Donna gasped and burst out laughing as she recognized CJ, as tall a figure as they could sculpt without it collapsing, propped against an icy podium, one spindly branch-arm arched imperiously towards a gaggle of reporters. Donna picked out Mark, Katie and Danny, identifiable by various - now rather soggy - accessories. 

“These weren’t here earlier…”

Josh was walking around the snow press corps to another group assembled behind them. Donna hurried to catch up, sliding her arm through his as she drew level with him.

“Josh, that’s us!”

Sure enough, there was Toby with a beard made of leaves and what Donna fervently hoped was a substitute rather than his own beloved bouncy ball, and then a few feet away, Josh with wild thistledown curls falling off his head and a folder marked “Inflation” sporting a huge “TOP SECRET” sticker. Snow Donna, with yellow legal pad hair, was right next to him. 

They drew closer.

“We’re holding hands,” Donna whispered.

Josh looked down.

Where the other figures had individual arms made out of a variety of garden debris, their likenesses were joined by a single, v-shaped branch.

He wasn’t surprised when he felt Donna’s fingers twining through his. He held on tight as they set off towards the gate.

\---

“One vodka tonic, one rusty nail, thanks.” Josh looked over his shoulder to where Donna was stretching in her seat, arms extended above her head as she shook her hair out after removing her hat. He felt a jolt of desire so potent he nearly vaulted the tables between them to get to her. Swallowing hard, he turned back to the bartender.

“Doubles, please.”

He handed over his credit card and managed to navigate his way back to Donna without having to talk to anyone he knew. He hesitated for a moment before sitting, telling himself that after a double vodka he’d probably pluck up the courage to slide in next to her. Taking the spot opposite, he raised his glass. 

“What are we drinking to?”

She thought for a moment.

“Family… Toby and his Dad. You did a good thing, Josh.”

He took a sip and tried not to wince. 

“I just made a couple phone calls. Well. I had an idea. You made a couple phone calls.”

“And you talked to Toby today. I don’t know what you said, but I think it helped.”

He closed his eyes, and felt rather than saw her hand covering his on the tabletop.

“Seeing them together must have been hard.”

“It… it was, but that wasn’t the main thing. The main thing was just being glad.”

Her fingers tightened around his. 

“Was it because of the twins?”

He looked up, surprised.

“How do you mean?”

“Is it because Toby’s about to become a father that you decided to do something?”

Josh blinked.

“I… I hadn’t even thought about that.”

Suddenly he looked so sad that Donna rounded the table to sit next to him, sliding her arms around his shoulders.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

He shook his head.

“It’s OK. I’d just…”

He trailed off, unable or unwilling to put into words the thought of ever facing fatherhood without his own Dad’s guidance.

“I know.”

She rested her chin on his shoulder and he leaned into her. They sat quietly for a moment, breathing in sync, surrounded by festive hubbub and twinkling lights. 

Josh sighed, squeezed her tight, and then eased back in his seat and knocked back his drink. Donna bit back a warning about taking it slow and finished her own, and slid out of the booth to order another round.

\---

“Wow. I haven’t had this much to drink in a long time. A really long time.”

“Are you OK?”

He blinked at her, and grinned.

“Yeah. I feel pretty good, actually. I… I’m nearly drunk enough to tell you how much you mean to me, and that feels good.”

She laughed softly, not even caring whether he’d let it slip deliberately or not, and shifted closer to him.

“You mean a lot to me, Josh. More than anyone.”

He examined her for a moment.

“I know,” he whispered. “I forget sometimes and I get crazy, but I do know that.”

She leaned in and kissed his cheek, and he brought his hand up to the back of her head and held her there. She smiled against his skin, tilting her head so her forehead was resting against his temple. After a moment he turned his head so they were cheek to cheek, sliding his arms around her shoulders.

“You smell good.”

She giggled.

“Thank you.”

“You always smell good.”

“You do, too.”

“You smell like pine needles.”

She laughed.

“I probably have some stuck in my hair still. I got caught on the tree earlier.”

He nudged her to turn around, and started searching through her silky locks until he found one. She giggled as his fingers tickled her scalp.

“This is getting a little primal…” 

He leaned forward and whispered in her ear.

“You make me feel like a caveman, sometimes. I just want to drag you off to the nearest cave…”

Were it not for the vodka he’d have panicked when she didn’t reply immediately. She took a deep breath.

“I think your apartment’s probably closer.”

It was his turn to be lost for words. Leaning against her back, his arms around her middle and her hair tickling his chin, the sudden real possibility of this intangible fantasy he’d cherished for years made his head spin.

“We’re drunk. We wouldn’t be….”

Donna turned around, a soft smile on her face, her voice gentle. 

“It’s not just because we’re drunk, Josh.” Her tone was serious, but her eyes were shining. “For one thing, I’m not actually drunk.”

“Neither am I.”

“You just said…” She broke off, sensing that this conversation could go round and round for some time. Taking a deep breath, she reached into her bag and pulled out a familiar old book.

Josh’s eyes widened.

“I think… it’s seemed like recently you’ve been showing it to me more. And I know you’ve been a little jealous…” She held up her hand to stop him when he opened his mouth to interrupt in protest. “You have! But it’s OK… because I already knew… because you’ve been showing me for years.”

Blushing slightly, she held the book out to him.

“I read it every Christmas.”

“Is it any good?”

“Not the book, you idiot. It’s terrible, he doesn’t even think women should be allowed on the slopes. The inscription.” She bit her lip. “Do you remember what you wrote?”

He nodded. 

“I think so.”

Taking the book from her, he flipped open the cover and started to read.

“My dear Donnatella.” He flushed slightly as he looked up and met her eyes. “I don’t much like the idea of skiing. Throwing yourself down an icy slope when you can’t see the bottom sounds pretty scary if you ask me. But you’re the bravest, most determined person I know, and you shine at everything you set your mind to trying.”

He looked back at her. 

“You really do, you know.” 

She reached over and squeezed his hand.

“Find some more up to date instructions than this, OK? I just thought it was…” He set the book down and finished from memory. “…unusual and pretty – like you.” He blinked at her. “Happy Christmas. With love, Joshua.”

He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her cheek, by way of punctuation. He felt her fingers in his hair, holding him close, and he stayed where he was, inhaling the scent of her skin, waiting for her to finish trying to convince him, even though there was really no need.

“I wrote you an answer.”

That was not what he had been expecting.

“I chickened out, and so you got that insipid card at the last minute, but I still have it.”

She took the book out of his hands and pulled a crumpled envelope out from inside the back cover. She put the card down in front of him but he shook his head.

“Read it to me.”

She blinked, and inhaled a shaky breath. 

“Dear Josh… My dearest Joshua. You told me not to get emotional, so I’ll try to keep this simple. Skiing scares me too, but you’ve showed me it’s worth trying things that seem impossible. I’ve never admired anyone as much as I admire you, and I’m grateful every day for getting to help with the impossible things you try. I love the book. It’s rare, and it made me really happy. Just like you. All my love, Donnatella.” 

Their eyes locked, and there was a long silence. They stared at each other, completely still, until suddenly they exploded into motion, crashing together and nearly tumbling out of the booth as their lips met, kissing hungrily, desperately, tongues and teeth colliding, hands roaming, oblivious to anyone who might be watching. 

When they broke apart they were panting for breath, swapping incredulous looks and laughing in disbelief. Donna blushed as she adjusted her sweater, and Josh ran a hand over his face.

“We never got to the part where you told me about Jack… you guys actually broke up, right?”

She smiled.

“Yes.”

“Excellent.”

He got to his feet, a little unsteadily, but once he’d righted himself his demeanor projected nothing but confidence.

“I’m going to pay for the liquid courage, and then I’m taking you home with me.”

She nodded emphatically.

“OK.”

He grinned. 

“’kay.”

**Author's Note:**

> There's a (very explicit) sequel, [Not A Disaster After All](http://archiveofourown.org/works/607386).


End file.
